There are some newspaper entries which make you go "aaaah":
"On the 6th inst., at the Free Church, St Ives, Hunts, by the Rev. T R Jones, Charles Culpin, of Reading, to Maria Broadway, of St Ives"
And those which make you go "oh":
"4th inst., at Southgate Street, Bury St Edmunds, Stanley Frederick, third son of JC Staden jun., aged 1 year and 7 months."
And then there are those which make you go "what the ......?":
"William Fuller, a truculent looking fellow as ever held a hand up at a bar of justice, was indicted for destroying on the 18th of July, in a most barbarous manner, an ass, the property of Charles Culpin.
Charles Culpin is a blacksmith, living at St Ives. On the 18th of July he saw the ass, which he kept in a hovel in a close: she was then quite well; the next morning his son fetched her up in a dying state – went to the hovel where he found a fork, the handle of which, for about a foot and a half, was smeared with blood. The ass died in consequence of a wound, given in the most revolting manner. Mr Culpin, on being asked on what terms he had been with the prisoner, said, that some time ago, while he was swearing among Mr Culpin’s children, he had sent for a constable, who took him into custody; since which he frequently insulted witness. Mr Swallow was present on the 19th of July, when the prisoner was apprehended – on being charged with an atrocious act on Mr Culpin’s donkey, he said I never did it, but Joesph Harrop did. On Harrop being sent for, his father came with him, who swore that his son was in bed at half-past seven. Mr Swallow then asked him what further he had to say, when he fell a-crying, and said, if Mr Culpin will forgive me, I will never do it again. On being asked what he had done, he said, I ran the shaft of the fork a foot, or half a foot, up the donkey. Verdict Guilty. Sentence, 14 years transportation."
Copyright (in order): Reading Mercury, 15th July 1871; Bury & Norwich Post, 15th May 1877; Cambridge Chronicle & Journal, 20th October 1826. All via the British Newspaper Archive.
Ah, happy times (chronicle/journal/post &c)